There is a lot of different steps that take place for a relationship to be successful.
Successful, by the way, is whatever you deem it to be. Success for one person could be getting a girlfriend. Success for another might be sleeping with a different girl each week.
Regardless of your definition, all interactions need to start somewhere. And for some reason, this is the area where the majority of men really struggle.
So what is most difficult area for the majority of men?
Yep, you bet. It’s the approach.
For some reason, men have hyped up the importance of the approach so much, that it actually makes guys physically sick to think about it.
It doesn’t need to be this way though.
When meeting someone new, you can used canned (pre-planned) conversation starters, or you can use a situational opener (make a comment about something in your surroundings). Both can work – it doesn’t really matter.
Here’s the key component of the approach that I need you to understand: IT DOESN’T MATTER.
The opener, conversation starter, ice breaker, pick up line, or whatever you’d like to call it – it’s only goal is to hook their attention long enough to segue into something more meaningful.
Conversation Starter Example:
Situation: Standing in line at Starbucks.
You: Hey, I want to try something new, what are you ordering?
Her: Venti Moka.
You: That’s what… half coffee half hot chocolate. I’ve heard about people that drink mokas – they can’t be trusted (said with a smile). I tell you what, it’s been a long time since I’ve had one, I’ll give it a try today – sorry, I didn’t catch your name.
Her: I’m Ashley.
You: Ashley, pleasure to meet you. I’m …
Transition: (however you want to lead the conversation)
From there you can ask if she’s staying here or taking off – or redirect the conversation in any way you desire.
The opener doesn’t have to be hardcore. It can be light, frivolous, or playful. It doesn’t matter. You will transition so quickly after she hooks that it won’t have mattered what you said (unless it was rude, obscene, or downright idiotic).
The key message I want to get across to you – it doesn’t matter what you say when you first meet someone. Chances are, unless you sneak up from behind, she’s already assessed you and decided what kind of person you are before you’ve even opened your mouth.
What matters more than the words that come out of your mouth is how you’re dressed, level of confidence, and how you carry yourself.